5 Ways I Find Healing From The Loss Of My Mother
Spending more ‘ME’ time is the medicine needed to get through more challenging season of life. Today I want to share a few ways that self-care practices have provided immense healing for me in the 3 short months since my best friend, Mama, and namesake, Jeri Lynn passed away due to complications with her cancer treatment.
SIDENOTE Everyone grieves in their own unique way. It is up to each and every individual to find a grieving process that is healing for them. I offer my stories to offer insight and perspective of what my own process has looked like in hopes that it may serve even one person on their healing journey.
Various Ways Self Care Practice Has Provided:
My willingness to self care daily affords me the ability and grace to address the hardship I’m going through while not completely immobilizing me. That being said, being ‘immobilized’ means something different to everyone. While I may take entire days to scream, cry, and grieve at the top of my lungs in a safe space, I have not sunk into a mode of depression where I am unable to function healthfully.
Daily Self Care gives deeper insight to how I want to express this unique hardship, in this season, on this day, in this moment. Sometimes, a gratitude practice rejoicing in the 29 special years we had together and recalling many cherished memories feels best and most appropriate. Other days, I write songs of our times together, spend time meditating and receiving messages from her, paint landscapes of where I feel she is leading me… The options are endless and intuitively guided. Tenderness and flexibility are key here.
Leaning into the discomfort of my grieving process daily helps me learn how different my emotions want to be expressed (so cool to see how different every season/challenge is, sometimes we can attach ourSelves to certain practices, which is a form of attachment, which also craves looking at, sometime!) and allows me to truly see what a unique individual I am. I think a need to conform or showcase ourSelves in a way that seems ‘normal’, ‘standard’, or ‘fits in’ to an idea of what we have to be the ‘right' way’ can thwart our ability to sink into truly deep, potent modes of healing.
In a safe space surrounded by stillness, I have the freedom to sit with mySelf, my emotions, my grief, my pain, my challenge and my grace in the way I approach each of these arenas of Self. It’s incredible the things that have the space to surface in stillness. My subtle consciousness is not as accessible when I am busied with devices and the ‘doing’ of things. This is not a luxury afforded only by those without children. Stillness of the mind can be found in any moment (even while doing the dishes or in bed before you fall asleep at night).
Spending time with Self Care helps me to truly feel (and, more powerfully, know) that healing from deep trauma is possible. It also reminds me that every single day is different, that change happens with every single moment. It helps me to be more kind, patient and gentle with mySelf.
Do what you can with what you have, where you are.
Your mental health and well Being are the foundation of how you show up in the world and are able to handle our pain and function through everyday life.
Treat yourSelf with the love you would give a small child in pain.
Give yourSelf the kindness you would a cherished friend.