Flipping Perspective; A Lesson In Self-Care.
It's now been 2 full weeks that I was in my backyard and thought I'd get a quick photo in Scorpion Pose, using my palm tree as a protectant pillar. I grabbed my fiance and asked him to get the shot for me. I'd just gotten done with a great inversion class focused on shoulder stabilizing, and chest opening (in preparation for Scorpion Pose), and was feeling fan-flippin-tastic. Tried once, and settled into the pose, noticing that the spines of the palm fronds were uncomfortably sharp and that I should stabilize as much as possible, so as to come in contact with the tree as little as possible. I came down, took a few breaths and set up for another go.
I didn't realize, but I'd shifted my hands to the left a few inches and was now, not in line with the palm. I kicked up and went to lightly tap the tree to get my balance, but when no tree was there, I just kept going until something stopped me. I'd landed on a bush that's situated next to the palm and realized I'd been impaled by the sharp spines in a number of places on my left foot and ankle. I shouted for Curtis to come help me, bent my arms, lowering onto my head, and rolled onto my back. My feet were in the air and the first thing I said was "I'm impaled!!" (I can be quite the drama queen), C got the thorns out of my feet and I sat up. I sat in disbelief for a few moments and as I flexed my feet to get up -- a sharp shard of pain shot up my foot. I hobbled inside with tears in my eyes and immediately started worrying about the insanely busy week I had ahead of me, starting with a runway event I was walking in only a few hours later.
I got through that week, but can tell that my ankle hasn't had the recuperation it needs, the last week I've been slowing my pace more and more; the sprain isn't bad, but just bad enough for me to underestimate it's weakness once or twice a day before I realize I've been using more than it needs. My sister's boyfriend let me borrow his crutches and an Ace bandage to stabilize the joint, so now it's just a waiting game.
I've been moving nonstop, making headway on projects, starting to teach more prenatal and subbing yoga classes, my mom asked me 2 days ago whether this really makes me appreciate my health and mobility more now that I see how different my days look without it.
That's been really making me think. We're able to perceive our circumstances however we please; it's our choice whether we think of ourselves as victims or see each thing that happens as a blessing. I know that it's my ego that has me feeling strong and invincible most days, which works for me, to accomplish a lot that I set out to do. After all, each and every one of us has an ego, we need it to choose who we present ourselves as in day-to-day life. Keeping the ego light and balanced is where the work is; it can be easy to let our heads fill up like balloons, obsessed with our own greatness, even as a yogi! It's an ongoing, daily practice that needs to be looked at, observed, and wiped clean; just one of the practices we can use for mind, body, and soul. Another of the Niyamas, Śauca : purity, clearness of mind, speech and body.
Spending time thinking about our ability to find the lesson, in everything that happens to us reveals a lot about our subconscious mind. From the seat of the observer, we can see how our mind initially reacts, or how hard it is to get to the calm point of clarity to accept what is. Another of the Niyamas, Santoṣa : contentment, acceptance of others and of one's circumstances as they are, optimism for self.
Approaching these places free of judgement and full of patience is hard sometimes, but definitely beneficial. Shaming yourself isn't helpful, and in order to do this work you have to harbor compassion for yourself. We're all human. We all make mistakes; in my case, I didn't pay close enough attention to my surroundings and let my ego get carried away with wanting the perfect Instagram photo. Now I'm living with those consequences, and you'd better believe I'm spending time learning from that moment where my ego got too heady. My point is, none of us is perfect, we WILL make mistakes, and the sooner we can become aligned with that truth, the easier it'll be to step into other areas within ourselves that need work.
As for the next few days, I'll be sitting on my couch with my foot propped up, like the goddess I am... Catching up on reading. I'd been meaning to start Eastern Body, Western Mind: Psychology and the Chakra System As a Path to the Self, for months, and am now completely wrapped up in it! Slowing down (especially when you don't think you have time for it), is so essential as a way to reconnect with yourself and assess things that may have been getting away from since the last time you were able to care for yourself.
If you don't choose it, it may choose you!!