The real reason I wanted to start this blog. Part 1.
A bit more backstory on how my journey has lead me to where I am today...
2015 was an absolute whirlwind of a year. In February, I started training as a Cocktail Server at the newest nightclub in Vegas and was completely overjoyed. I'd landed a dream job and knew that with my work ethic, I'd be there until I could retire. In my mind life was made; I'd worked hard, and was finally being rewarded, getting what 'I deserved'. My ego was psyched.
I considered it a type of 'deal with the devil', because while I was making the type of money most women my age could only dream of, and rubbing elbows with celebrities every night, I was also having to subject my ethics and morals to situations that hurt my heart, and after a few months, it got to be pretty draining. Nightlife did not agree with me, but every night I'd put a smile (and incredible push-up bra) on, amass a respectable upsell percentage (I was an incredible booze saleswoman!), and grow my savings account.
I knew I was there to stay.
I'll always remember that phone call from my manager. Short and sweet.
"Hey Brittani.. We're gonna take you off the schedule tonight."
I took it, no questions asked, I was sure that the night looked a little slow and they wanted to relieve a few servers before they got to work for the night. My boyfriend was a little suspicious and counted my shift number. I was at 39, and you enter into the union at 40, which means you'd be protected from being let go unless you accumulated enough demerit points to be terminated. My heart plummeted. I'd just been let go. Shocked was an understatement. I'd just had my best weekend ever there. When I saw that he was calling me I actually thought it was to congratulate me and let me know they'd be recognizing my upsell percentage at our next shift meeting (I had myself on a VERY high pedestal in those days!).
For the next 2 weeks, I was completely beaten down, and desperately didn't want to return to modeling full time. I'd spent the last 6 years pretending to be someone I wasn't, and couldn't take it anymore. I didn't know what I was thirsty for or craving so badly, but something inside me wasn't able to commit to another round of my 'old life', largely spent gossiping, complaining, and not having any substantial connection with anyone I surrounded myself with.
I randomly got invited to attend a yoga teacher training by a friend, felt a tingle, immediately said yes, and enrolled within 3 days. I told myself it'd be good for me to deepen my own practice and had absolutely no intention of becoming an instructor, or providing any type of career opportunities(much less completely metamorphosing my entire outlook on myself and Life in general.). I'd gone to middle school with her and she was now my favorite yoga teacher at the studio I went to. It seemed like a pretty kismet situation.
The week before we were set to leave for Venice, CA, that girl canceled on me. She told me I'd be, instead, rooming with and driving down with a friend of hers. My anxiety totally took over me as I thought 'No, I'm not. I probably won't like her, she won't like me, the car ride will be miserable, I'll be stuck in an apartment with her for an entire month....', and made myself absolutely miserable. My boyfriend told me, 'Hey, it probably won't be so bad. Just give it a chance, you can't quit now.'
So I went. This was one the deciding factors that makes my belief in this work so concrete. I couldn't have made a decision that took me MORE out of my comfort zone, and I was rewarded in absolute abundance. My entire life and Being changed as a result of that painstaking decision. I was meant to take THIS trip, with THIS incredible woman, and have my entire world shattered over the course of the next 5 weeks at this Yoga Teacher Training.
More on this transformative story to come...!!